Sedna
by CatherienaLeigh
Summary: Alice has many secrets. Will they bite her in the end?
1. Sedna

Sedna

Summery: No one likes to feel alone. Rejection made her leave home early and drove her into an asylum. She pretends she does not remember but Alice can never forget why she is always searching for acceptance.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my car.

Warning : femslash, self abuse, mental issues, and general angst

Sedna roamed the deep, the cold forgotten deep, no-one wants to be alone,

I never wanted to walk away. I never wanted to be forced to be all the family I will ever have. They can not accept that I am what I am. I have not felt loved here since I told my family that I am gay. Then I let slip that I am a pagan and that I have visions that are scary accurate. Had I been born in another time I would have been revered as a messenger of the Goddess. Had I been normal in the eyes of my family I would be welcome. I sit in a small room all alone forced to hold myself tight. Electro shock therapy and Ice water baths are the norm for me now.

I can't change who I am. I cry softly into the night. "My Lady I have remained true to you. I have suffered for these visions. I cry now from this prison save me, momma." Maybe Nix will hear. The pretty nurse comes in again I think she hears me when I cry sometimes. She always seems to know when day shift has been especially mean to "The Devil Child". She also seemed to know just when I needed to be held. I loved the way she smelled like ocean water, flowers and summer nights.

I cried into her shoulder as she held me. "Please get me out of here. I'm not crazy. I do not belong here." The woman smiled at me.

"I know you're not crazy. You are gifted and I will save you." Then I was burning. The fire consumed all of me in the flames. Burning away the cold that was my last ice bath. Burning away all I was. When I stopped burning she was gone. I was not in the asylum anymore I had a vision then of a man that would find me and take me to a new family. A family that would accept me for all that I was. All I would have to do was wait for the man to find me. So I found myself in a café in a thunderstorm thirsty as a desert.

I bounded over to the man as he came in. "HI, I'm Alice. You are going to take me to a family who will love us as we are. Oh and they only eat animals." I said as I hugged him. I did not realize at the time that this one manipulated emotions. He forced me to be With him. I resented him for it and plotted vengeance as soon as I could get away.

It seems I am always being rejected or used. Once I joined the family they came to rely on my visions. Yes they accepted me but they used my abilities. And the man named Jasper used my body. So starved for the affection I was denied in life I stayed with them.

I let myself be used so that they would accept me. They did not care that I prayed to the Goddesses as long as the Goddesses sent me visions that were of use to them. None of them cared that Jasper used my body as long as it did not interfere with their lives. I was back to square one but I could not leave. I was drawn to them. They were the only family I acknowledged and if I stayed with them long enough my true mate would come along. I had seen her The Goddesses had let me see who she was and that she was on her way to me. First she would have to be born I would have to hold on a little longer.

I would have to be like Sedna create the family I needed to bring the woman who would love me really love me. I would have to lead them to the ties that were needed. They had already established contact with the clan that would generate half of my mate. An the person that would be the other parent of my mate was here with this family. I would have to manipulate the man that was manipulating me to find his true mate when he was born in that clan.

I set events in motion and waited for the time to come. There was one snag one of them could read minds. I would have to make him like a true big brother let him know the plans I had and get his help. I would have to hide the fact that my gift allowed me to know my past. I feigned complete amnesia it was so much easier to forget the hurt of being rejected by my family. It was so much easier to forget being tortured because of the visions that made me special. It was so much easier to forget the pain of losing the only person who had ever been kind to me and not used me.

I could be patient I was used to being patient life and un-life was about patience more than anything else. It was all part of the game. Just play along until you are strong enough to win the game. Just play the game until you have the cheat code to beat every level. Learn the ropes Alice so that when the time comes your mate can help you get away. Until then be your own mate. I made my mantra the song Sedna to remind me why I was doing all this.

Sedna roamed the deep, the cold forgotten deep, no-one wants to be alone

Sedna roamed the deep, the cold forgotten deep, no-one wants to be alone

From her hands they fell, children of the ocean's swell

With ice's twinkle given sight

She offered them a name, and seals they all became

And laughing, took a coat of dappled light.

Sedna roamed the deep, the cold forgotten deep, no-one wants to be alone

Sedna roamed the deep, the cold forgotten deep, no-one wants to be alone

From her hands they fell, ever in the sea to dwell

Nimble fingered, quick and lithe

She offered them a name, and otters they became

Keepers of her secrets in the ice.

Sedna roamed the deep, the cold forgotten deep, no-one wants to be alone

Sedna roamed the deep, the cold forgotten deep, no-one wants to be alone

From her hands they fell, the mightiest of all

Slow and gentle as the tides

She offered them a name, and whales they all became

To tread the paths the lesser are denied

Sedna roamed the deep, the cold forgotten deep, no-one wants to be alone

Sedna roamed the deep, the cold forgotten deep, no-one wants to be alone

Sedna roamed the deep, the cold forgotten deep, no-one wants to be alone

"I can do this, I am strong enough, I hope." I whispered into the night as I stood looking up at the house.

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The song is by Heather Dale I recommend it. This story will continue as long as this muse remains though it does feel slightly vindictive and off character to Alice I think it fits my mood.


	2. Medusa

Medusa

Summery: .Rejection made her leave home early and drove her into an asylum. She pretends she does not remember but Alice can never forget why she is always searching for acceptance.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my car.

Warning : femslash, self abuse, mental issues, and general angst

Damn 'em all - I create my own perfection

Damn 'em all in the face of their rejection

Damn 'em all - well this dog will have its day

My garden's full of pretty men who couldn't stay away

I closed my eyes Jasper was having his way with my body. So I let my mind wander away. Recalling the vision of my lover to come. I memorized every detail of her face to help me through this. She would have long black hair and grey eyes. She would smell of the Ocean and she would save me. I just had to hold out until she was born then until she grew up. Luckily I did not age.

"Alice, how are you doing?" My big brother asked after Jasper finished and I wandered down stairs. Jasper never let me out of the range of his emotional control for long. I allowed Edward into my mind to see that I had let my mind wander off again. He hugged me and kissed the top of my head. "You'll find her, Alice."

Rosalie was building a house of cards with Emmet. I started to arrange some roses in a vase. I let my mind remember my mantra. That's when I heard Edward he was playing a song. Rosalie and I wandered into the music room. We began to sing the song he was playing. He was playing my mantra for me. When the song Ended he Began to play one Rose did not know but I recognized it I started to sing.

" Mother would tell me I was a pretty girl

Then she would cry all night

Nobody thinks that really they're being cruel

When they suggest that I should try to look like them

As if God loved the pretty ones best

Damn 'em all - I create my own perfection

Damn 'em all in the face of their rejection

Damn 'em all - well this dog will have its day

My garden's full of pretty men who couldn't stay away

Notice the ones who all like to criticize

Are the ones trying to hide

Why would I sell my soul to be one of them

Better to love the me within behind the skin

I choose to be a goddess inside

Damn 'em all - I create my own perfection

Damn 'em all in the face of their rejection

Damn 'em all - well this dog will have its day

My garden's full of pretty men who couldn't stay away

Damn 'em all - I create my own perfection

Damn 'em all in the face of their rejection

Damn 'em all - well this dog will have its day

My garden's full of pretty men who couldn't stay away

Damn 'em all!"

It was a song by the same artist that did Sedna. The song was called Medusa. Rose looked at me in shock. She and I usually did most of our songs in harmony and I never put that much passion into our duets. But I had poured my unbeating heart into the chorus.

"Alice I had no idea you felt that way," Esme had wandered in and heard me as well.

I looked at them all the whole Family had joined us our impromptu concerts always drew them. Jaspers Eyes flashed I knew that look. I dreaded it without meaning to I had turned him on. I could do this I could hold on. That was when Edward stood.

"Jasper, would you like to go hunting?" Edward asked him Jasper accepted the offer and I sent A thank you to Edward with my mind. Maybe Jasper would leave me alone when he returned. I decided to channel my fear into something I could do well. I used my sister as a dress up dolly like I would with my mate when she came. Just a little while longer . I sent up a prayer to My lady Medusa.

" My Lady Medusa great crone powerful protector of women's mystery. Devine balance, keep me safe this night I pray." with that I retreated into my room with Rose in tow.


	3. Kalima

Kali-ma

Summery: No one likes to feel alone. Rejection made her leave home early and drove her into an asylum. She pretends she does not remember but Alice can never forget why she is always searching for acceptance.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my car.

Warning : femslash, self abuse, mental issues, and general angst

I devour your rage

And dance on your remains

You must walk through my flames

To know true bliss

I was falling apart piece by peace it had been years and still my mate had not come. I had become a shadow of myself the only thing that kept me together was hope and my newly found Devotion to the goddess Kali-ma. She is sometimes seen as the first vampire. The aspect that drew me to Kali-ma was actually her aspect as protectress of abused women. Edward pointed it out one night when I was feeling particularly isolated. I told my self that she was cleansing me to prepare me for my true mate.

I still held the goddess Sedna close as well as Medusa. I kept finding to goddesses that humans consider scary. Those Goddesses that reflected a powerful feminine strength to adapt. When Bella entered our lives I found A new Dolly to dress up and some one to obsess over. She became a pet project of mine and a way to keep Jasper off of me at times.

Bella stayed with us once when the boys went hunting. I enjoyed her company but she was not my mate and she could not fill that void in my life. Edward did not tell her why I enjoyed being around her. I planned parties as a distraction as much as for entertainment. "Alice, I am not a life size paper doll." Bella said as I planned what she should ware to my latest party. Then I had a vision, the other parent of my mate would soon come into his power. I had to se to it that he met Jasper and quick. Edward kicked me under the table.

"Nap time already, Alice?" I laughed and jumped back into the conversation. Edward could see my thoughts that I had to find a way to get Jasper to the Rez. After school he helped me plan. We could provoke A rival vampire to get close to the line that would insure that the Wolves and the Cullen's would come together and bam imprint.

I prayed to Kali-ma, "Mother Kali-ma, first vampire, Destroyer of demons. Vengeful Kali-ma protectress of women in crisis. You who avenge abused women I call to you. Protect me now at this crucial juncture. There Are many possibilities this night and one leads to my true mate. Mamma help me."

I led the family to the lined in our search for the rage vampire. Sam was leading the Pack in the same direction that's when I smelled a hint of the person that was to mate with Jasper but something was off. There were two similar scents and one smelled closer to the mate that I was destined for. Had she been born before her time as a gift for my years on patience. I looked at the assembled wolves expecting to feel something then our eyes locked. She was born earlier then I thought she would be. I felt drawn to her.

Still something was off. Then it hit me she had not imprinted on me but had imprinted none the less. She imprinted on Rosalie. My world was spinning out of control.

After the ensuing fight, Emmet crossed the line by accident, we all went our separate ways. I ran hard north passing the home I shared with them I had to get away. I had to sort all this out I headed someone following me. I turned to see Edward he could easily have over taken me but he had not. We ran side by side for a while until we were far from the house. I allowed my self to sink to the soft earth. I was whispering softly to myself The song that had become my mantra spilling ion waves from my mouth. I had snapped it was all too much. I was at last becoming the Crazy child my parents always thought I was. Edward scooped me up in his arms and I allowed him to carry me back to the house. He set me down on the floor near his piano and began to play Medusa again for me he played it through twice before I was able to calm down enough to sing it .

Edward played a song He and I knew well and that he knew I needed we had rehearsed it since he pointed out the goddess Kali to me. The Wolf called Leah joined chanting the counter point to the song. Esme and Rose joined in too. It was beautiful the four of us weaving a complicated melody to A protectress of women Esme would have been crying if she could she knew what Kali meant. Carlisle leaned on the door frame listening to the women in the house sing a song meant as an empowerment for women to rise and follow the path of the goddess as she led us to a more perfected state. When we had finished Jasper and his new mate Seth came into the room. Jasper apologized for the years past and Rosalie put her arms around her two mates Emmet and Leah. Carlisle held Esme That left one lone Alice in the wave of happy. As Edward had Bella and a recently imprinted Jake. I would still have to wait for my mate but would she be Leah's daughter or Seth's? I had no way to answer that question.

_______________________________________________________________________________

The Song referred to is Kali-ma by Kellianna the song is done as a complicated weaving of multiple female voices. I recommend listening to it for the full effect. I am providing you with the words though hearing it is much more powerful.

Chant

Kali, Kali, Kali-ma

My destruction breeds creation, Kali-ma

Invocation

I am the Dark Goddess

Veiled in your mysteries

Mother who is life and death

Destructive as fire

I remain the spark of creation

I devour your rage

And dance on your remains

You must walk through my flames

To know true bliss

I destroy your demons

And liberate your soul

Walk with me

Into being, consciousness, bliss

You know who I am

I am you

Remove my veil

Look into the mirror

Look into your soul

There I am

I am always with you


	4. Joan

**Joan**

**Summery: : No one likes to feel alone. Rejection made her leave home early and drove her into an asylum. She pretends she does not remember but Alice can never forget why she is always searching for acceptance.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my car.**

**Warning : femslash, self abuse, mental issues, and general angst**

**I heed the higher voices; I go where I'm sent,**

**And they won't call me Mother, or Sister, or Wife,**

**They will know me or not by the strength of my life,**

**I will burn with a light of my own.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**It has been six months since the imprinting and still I wait we found out earlier today that Leah is pregnant is my mate coming now at last? Is fate still playing with me like always? At least jasper has left me to myself since he found his mate. Edward has been the best brother I could ask for he lets me hang out in his room a lot and I visit Bella more often but she is not my mate I know this but I need at least some female companionship. We are doing a girls day today Esme is driving the SUV, Leah has the front passenger seat. I am in the back between Bella and Rosalie. Edward suggested it as a way to help lift my spirits. A song came on the radio as we left the drive. The song seemed to fit me well it was called Joan.**

**I am as God made me, I have no desire,**

**For a mouth at my breast or a pot on the fire,**

**I heed the higher voices; I go where I'm sent,**

**To mow down the men who refuse to repent,**

**I'm a scythe, in a field full of briars.**

**And they won't call me Mother, or Sister, or Wife,**

**They will know me or not by the strength of my life,**

**I will burn with a light of my own.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**The courage of Catherine, the flames of the forge,**

**Sword of Saint Michael, the blood of Saint George,**

**I take what I'm given, I follow my truth,**

**I gladly abandon the bloom of my youth,**

**I'm the lashing, that falls from the scourge.**

**And they won't call me Mother, or Sister, or Wife,**

**They will know me or not by the strength of my life,**

**I will burn with a light of my own.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**I fight where God tells me, I never ask why,**

**I've bloodied the Devil, with steel from on high,**

**I kill without consequence, heed no Man's law.**

**I sift out the righteous like grain from the straw.**

**I am Judgment, and Heaven is nigh.**

**And they won't call me Mother, or Sister, or Wife,**

**They will know me or not by the strength of my life,**

**I will burn with a light of my own.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**They won't call me Mother, or Sister, or Wife,**

**They will know me or not by the strength of my life,**

**I will burn with a light of my own.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**No they won't call me Mother, or Sister, or Wife,**

**They will know me or not by the strength of my life,**

**I will burn with a light of my own.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**No they won't call me Mother, or Sister, or Wife,**

**They will know me or not by the strength of my life,**

**I will burn with a light of my own.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**They won't call me Mother, or Sister, or Wife,**

**They will know me or not by the strength of my life,**

**I will burn with a light of my own.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**They'll know me as Joan.**

**Esme glanced in the rearview mirror at me and noticed that not only was I singing along so were Rosalie and Bella. It fit my mood of late. That idea that I really had no place here just like Sedna I had tried to make my family but it seemed that I had done it all in vain. I felt like I would never find my mate it seemed like each time I got close it was ripped away from me. I watched as the landscape sped past my vampire eyes scanning the area. I let my mind go back to my vision of my mate curling around it like a security blanket. I pretended to be happy chatting inanely about plans for what to do with the nursery allowing them to think I was happy as all of them were. Part of being a vampire was the ability to lie. I was a good actress as I allowed them to think I was alright. I allowed them to think that what ever melancholy that seeped around the edge of my mask was simply the loss of Jasper to Seth. In truth I could not have cared less that Jasper had found his mate. The only advantage was that now he was not raping me on a nightly basis. **

**We arrived at the mall and I lost myself in my element finding cloths and furniture for the nursery. We commissioned a round crib to be made of wrought iron for the baby. The look on the sales lady's face was priceless when we asked to have it made of iron. We ordered a matching changing table . I managed to find an antique wardrobe made of teak and ebony with ivory inlaid handles on the doors and internal drawers. The room would look dark but it would be brightened with the décor I had found I had managed to convince Leah to let me do all the decorating I planed to make the room look like an Ice flow with the crib tucked into a little ice cave. I even found a bed that would fit nicely into the ice flow as the baby grew. Esme and Bella were helping me with the surprise nursery theme though Esme did ask why I volunteered the room I was now staying in as the nursery. I explained that I would keep the closet but that I did not mind sharing a room with the baby as I had no mate to share it with at the moment. I did not add that mayhap the child would be my mate and that as such one day we would share the room as lovers not just with me acting as a live in nanny. At the moment that was all I could offer.**


	5. Avebury

**Avebury**

**Summery: No one likes to feel alone. Rejection made her leave home early and drove her into an asylum. She pretends she does not remember but Alice can never forget why she is always searching for acceptance.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my car.**

**Warning : femslash, self abuse, mental issues, and general angst**

**Sybaleigh Waneta Hale-Clearwater-McCarty was born to her mothers and father in the spring. The moment I saw her I knew this was my mate. She smelled of the ocean and flowers to me even though rose complained that her daughter smelled like a puppy. I held the sleeping child in my arms and was astounded when her far too knowing eyes opened to look at me and she grabbed my finger refusing to let me go. I got the distinct impression of her trying to be possessive even as an infant. I heard her little laugh as she attempted to eat my finger. I allowed her to put my finger in her mouth and that's when I heard the voice I had been waiting for in my head. "I know you've been waiting and I'm so glad that you are mine," I gasped a little and Leah looked up from the hospital bed that she lay in after her hours long ordeal of labor.**

"**Alice," Rosalie growled, "Give me my daughter." My whole body screamed at me to never let go of my mate. Edward came running into the room followed by Jake and Bella. Jake looked first at my protective stance clutching Sybaleigh to my chest then at the angry Rosalie and slightly clueless Emmet. He mouthed a word to Edward at which time Edward looked at me with sympathy.**

**Leah spoke up next, " Rose baby, let Alice hold her she has waited a long time for our daughter just give her a little bonding time I assure you she will hand our little one back to us soon." Rosalie looked like she wanted to rip Sybaleigh from my arms but allowed me to continue to hold the sleeping infant. Reluctantly after about an hour of watching her sleep in my arms where she fit perfectly I handed her to Rosalie and walked into the room we would share. I sat on my bed inside the little alcove that also contained the crib where she would sleep the white blue-white sheets on both beds never looked so stark. I ran my fingers over the blue blanket on my bed. It was a daybed twin size only mostly there for the look. We had agreed months ago to allow the nursery to be photographed for a magazine that was doing a spread on fantasy children's rooms. The day bed was explained away as the bed where the older of the two children slept. We had done a mural inside the sleeping alcove of Sedna walking amongst the seals and otters playing in the alcove there was what appeared to be a break in the floor with a killer whale breaching to breath if you looked closely the blow hole was a handle to open the toy chest. We had put the wardrobe in an alcove that looked like an ice cave too it shared the space with the changing table the mural in that alcove showed a view of the ocean as seen from Alaska in the depths of the cold winter night. Edward walked into my room. I curled up on the day bed making myself small I knew who was with him. Emmet, the clueless wonder, was accompanying my favorite brother into the room. I did not need Jasper's ability to know he was angry with me. I refused to uncurl even when I felt the mattress dip. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I coiled tighter. Then muttered " I am sorry, Emmet, I should have told you. I have been waiting for Sybaleigh since I was turned. Your little girl is my mate." Then the yelling started.**

"**She is not even seven hours old and you are already claiming her as a mate. You sick, crazy bitch." Emmet continued to yell at me as I zoned out. My mind was finally kicking in defense mode. I would not fight back I never did physically or verbally I reverted to the scared child that I was in the asylum. Edward realized what I was doing before Emmet lost a little steam. **

" **Emmet, please stop yelling at her," Leah asked from her place in Rosalie's arms. " She can not help who her mate is anymore then I can. Alice would never hurt our daughter she would rather die. I know the feeling. Until our daughter is old enough Alice will just be the best Nanny that we could ask for. She will spoil our baby worse than we will."**

**Edward saw how far my mind had retreated to get away from the angry Emmet. He asked if Sybaleigh could be brought in to the room for a moment knowing that she could retrieve me from my shell.**

**Eight Years have passed since Sybaleigh's birth and now I stand in a circle of stone watching as Emmet walks my mate toward me. A song is playing from my mp3 player attached to a set of speakers.**

"_**Giant stone circle where the Goddesses dance**_

_**Full moon, high summer as I walk through the land**_

_**And I know you are waiting to take my hand**_

_**And you'd step beside me as I walk through the land**_

_**Yes you'd step beside me as I walk through this land**_

_**And my love spans the ocean and my love knows no time**_

_**And I know you are waiting and I'm glad that you're mine**_

_**Said I know you are waiting I'm so glad that you're mine**_

_**Around the great circle the energies flow**_

_**And I feel you are with me wherever I go**_

_**I watch the sun setting and I watch the moon rise**_

_**And I feel you beside me like a breeze in the night**_

_**Said I feel you beside me like a breeze in the night**_

_**And my love spans the ocean and my love knows no time**_

_**And I know you are waiting and I'm glad that you're mine**_

_**Said I know you are waiting I'm so glad that you're mine**_

_**The stones they embrace me with warmth and with love**_

_**And moonlight is raining on down from above**_

_**I am walking in beauty my soul flying free**_

_**But right by your side is where I'd like to be**_

_**Said right by your side is where I'd like to be**_

_**And my love spans the ocean and my love knows no time**_

_**And I know you are waiting and I'm glad that you're mine**_

_**Said I know you are waiting I'm so glad that you're mine"**_

**She is dressed in white fur and caries ice blue flowers in her hand. Her long black hair usually falls to her waist but it is pinned up in an elaborate crown and braid extending down her back to about mid-back length atop the lace Vail she wares a flower wreath of wild roses. I am dressed in white druid robes with soft hide underneath my hair is hidden under the hood that I am wearing I too have a crown of wild rose upon my head. Edward is acting as my best man and stands beside me. He is dressed identical to me sans the floral crown. **

"**She is beautiful, Alice, I am happy for you." I simply nod speechless this hand fasting will make her officially my wife in the eyes of the gods and my family. Out of respect for her parents I have waited until she is full grown now we will walk together through the rest of our days.**

**The high priest of the local coven is standing at the alter stone he smiles at me as my mate reaches me at last. "Who gives the junior partner in this right over to this union?" .He asks beginning the right Emmet takes his daughters hand and offers it to me.**

"**I, Emmet Cullen McCarty, Give my daughter, Sybaleigh Waneta Hale-Clearwater-McCarty, with the blessing of my clan and her mothers as well." I only have eyes for Sybaleigh.**

**The priest smiles as I take my mate's hand, "I Mary Alice Brendon-Cullen take this woman as my mate I have waited for her my whole life and now we will walk this world together. I offer her my heart." Edward stepped forward then and laid a red and white cord over our joined hands.**

"**I, Edward Mason Cullen pledge to protect and support this union as a witness to this union. I have watched Alice pine for her mate for y4ears it is good to see them finally together." after him Carlisle approached and wrapped the cord once up my arm.**

"**I, Carlisle Leslie Cullen as the head of the Cullen clan offer my protection and support to this union. Take care of each other for this is a rare gift to find your mate." he smiled and retook his seat as Seth walked up to us. He wrapped the cord one up Sybaleigh's arm.**

"**I, Seth Harry Hale-Clearwater, as head of the Clearwater clan offer support and protection to this union.. May you never end a day angry at each other." He grinned at us as Jasper approached, jasper wrapped the cord once more uo my arm then looped it through the first pass.**

"**I, Jasper Whitlock Hale-Clearwater, as head of the Hale clan offer my protection and support. May you never Lie cheat or steal but if you must lie, lie in each others arms. If you must steal, steal kisses. If you must Cheat, cheat death and live happily ever after. The goddess knows you have earned it." then Leah approached.**

"**In my womb I, Leah Mai Hale-Clearwater-McCarty, carried you my daughter, Sybaleigh Waneta Hale-Clearwater-McCarty and I see that you are happy with Mary Alice Brendon-Cullen . I offer my support and protection to this union. There is no higher love under the gods then the Love of a mate and the love of a parent may your hearts beat as one until time is undone." with that she looped the cord once more up Sybaleigh's arm and through the first loop to secure it on her side as well.**

"**I Sybaleigh Waneta Hale-Clearwater-McCarty take this woman to be my mate. I know she has been waiting for me and I am so glad that she is mine. Now we will walk together through this land and I will love her with all my heart and soul." **

**The priest then stepped forward and took the two lose ends and wound them down our arms tying them in a firm square knot over our joined hands. " Linked by the gads linked by this cord you are bound together may the Gods smile on your union." we kissed then and the priest exchanged the wild rose circlets on our heads for circlets made of silver. With the same wild rose motif. "From something transitory to something permanent by this right your souls are one."**


	6. This New Day

**This new day**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it**

**Summery: No one likes to feel alone. Rejection made her leave home early and drove her into an asylum. She pretends she does not remember but Alice can never forget why she is always searching for acceptance**

**Warning : femslash, self abuse, mental issues, and general angst**

**From the darkness day is dawning**

**In my darkest hour I seek the light**

**All my pain and all my sorrow**

**May it ease with this new day**

**Sybaleigh was the axis on which my world turned, she was the miracle promised by the Goddess. I stood in awe as I watched her get on the plane. We were going for our honey-moon I did not tell her what I was planning. We were meeting another plane in Bangor Maine from there we would met another to Miami, Florida. In Florida we were to take a boat to a privet Island I had bought for her. Edward, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle had helped me build a house on the island for the two of us. I hoped she liked it. My beautiful half-blood wife caught between two worlds. **

**We arrived that night at sunset. I placed our luggage on the dock, then helped my love from the boat. "Alice, where are we?" Sybaleigh asked looking at the island paradise before her. **

" **That, beloved, has not been decided. So far you have not named your island. Its my wedding present for you." She kissed me then long and hard crushing our mouths together.**

" **Oh Alice darling, you give me far too much. I think I shall call it…" she tapped her lips with her index finger. " ****Doba Donoma it means 'no war in the sight of the sun'. For this place as long as you and I exist will see no war. We won't let it." I liked the sound of that the name seemed to roll together perfectly too. I told her so then scooped her into my arms and carried her to our home and over the thresh hold. I deposited her on her feet in the living room then ran for the luggage on the dock and brought it in before she had even moved from the door way. my movements were so fast her hair ruffled a little with my passing. I pulled her to me again. **

" **Would you like a tour of our new home?" I asked whispering in her ear and making her shiver. I grabbed her hand and tugged her into the living room. It was a cozy intimate space there was an antique sofa and two antique chairs in the room. All three were upholstered in deep crimson fabric on the floor was a Persian rug in shades of red as well. The walls were rough stone and the windows had real shutters. I led her into the kitchen I had asked that the cleaning staff stock it well all my mates favorite foods were here. I showed her the master suit next it was a perfect copy of our room in Alaska. We had separate closets because honestly how could I fit all our cloths in one? **

" **Sweetheart? Where did you hide the little girl's room?" Sybaleigh asked. " I need to freshen up." I showed ho the master bath. **

" **When you are done come join me on the beach I have another surprise for you."**

**SWBC&MABC**

**Much awaited Fem lemon:**

**I spread a blanket on the sand and pushed my mate back into a reclining position. We both were clad only by the sky. I settled myself between her legs, " Now, my beloved Goddess, I shall worship you with my prayers." I spread her legs a little farther and brought the flat of my tong to her little nubbin of flesh. I licked and suckled it until she begged me to put the vibrator I had brought inside her. I teased her a little with it first knowing for a fact she was still a virgin. " What do you want?" I asked as I looked up at her stopping for a moment in our love making.**

"**Fuck me, fuck me hard, make me yours." she was so cute when she begged like that. I felt it necessary to correct the language tough. I playfully smacked her clit with the vibrator it was a soft jelly one anyway.**

" **Language, my love, unless you want me to punish that filthy little mouth of yours." she begged me to punish he3r insolent mouth so I positioned myself over her face too but tried to concentrate on her clit and pussy as well putting the pink vibrator deep inside her. She had a purple one in her hand and pushed it inside me as well. She was doing a wonderful job at her punishment as I continued my work on her as well. She was taking all the cues from me as to what to do. We kept at it until dawn.**

**:End lemon **

**We both lay there in the afterglow watching the sun rise my mate cudled closer to me we had collapsed onto the blanket side by side spent from the passion. I Pulled a second blanket out of the basket I had braught to the beach for our lovemaking. I began to sing a song to her by one of my favorite artists. A song of dawning and new beginnings one I had longed to sing for so long now.**

"**From the darkness day is dawning**

**In my darkest hour I seek the light**

**All my pain and all my sorrow**

**May it ease with this new day**

**May my tears remain uncounted**

**And I bid the Goddess be my guide**

**For where you lead you know I'll follow**

**At the dawning of this new day**

**At this crossroad the way seems clouded**

**And I bid the Goddess be my guide**

**Grant me grace and grant me vision**

**At the dawning of this new day**

**May my strength and may my power**

**lift me up and light my way**

**I seek faith and I seek wisdom**

**At the dawning of this new day"**

"**That is a beautiful song, Sweetheart. What is it called?" Sybaleigh asked.**

"**This new day. From this day our life is each other this dawning is more then a day I came out of a very dark time in my life the day I met you now we are really truly one." I said looked over and realized my mate was asleep. I could tell her later about my past we had eternity for now it was just us. I let her sleep.**

* * *

**A word from Catheriena: Happy solstice I hope you all enjoyed the lemon**


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